Blog #7 .... Dominguez Guadalupe
Death is one if not my least favorite topics, I really avoid talking about it. I have to admit that just hearing the word "death" brings chills to my body and it makes me very afraid. I am not afraid to die and the outcome for myself, I am afraid to die and to not be there to raise my kids, I am afraid to die and hurt those that love me . I am mostly very afraid of losing someone I love due to death. The truth is that death is part of life and something we have to deal with most often than we may want to.
Chapter 12 focuses on death, grief, suicide and the spirituality aspect of death. in the book death is classified in four different types; clinical, brain, biological and social. Grief is a response to the loss of a loved one. Grief is a necessary and natural process that takes place for the well-being of a grieving person in a physical and mental aspect. Various circumstances play a role to how a person may evolve grief , such as religion, culture, self-character, tradition and our support system. Depending on one's culture it may be acceptable the display of sadness by crying loudly while in other cultures it may be seen as wrong. Usually and normally grief takes place accordingly and is of great aid to the griever as it brings relief and acceptance. There are times when the grief is not successful and an unresolved grief comes into perspective. The three major unresolved griefs are delayed grief, distorted grief and complicated grief. Delayed grief is when the grief is put off to a later time. It can come up and be noticeable when a certain event brings to surface the grieving that was ignored previously. A distorted grief is when a person's grief is extreme and the person starts to have similar symptoms as to that of the decease. Another type of grief is complicated grief. Complicated grief is when a person has intense grieving for long periods of time making it impossible to go back to their normal life after the lost.Experts on the topic have come to the conclusion that grief is a healthy aspect during the crisis that is been faced when a loved one is lost. It is said that funerals are in fact of benefit for those surrounding the death of a loved one, research has show that it serves as a therapeutic process.
It was very interesting and self-enriching reading and reflecting on "death" it is a topic I usually avoid at all cost, but i have to say it is good to get out of our comfort zones at times to be able to learn and even analyze and interconnect what we learn to real life situations.
I will like to connect my understandings on this chapter to a situation that has been happening in my family for several years. Four years ago we lost my little cousin at almost 2 years old due to phlegm on her lungs that was not been expelled and as a result her lungs did not function properly. Let me just say that my family is very close including aunts and uncles, the lost of my little cousin was painful for the whole family(my mother's family) . It was the first time we lost a little one as it had always been older people, but my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, my parents and siblings all are alive. As a family we had never lost anyone ( I am referring to my mother's family). The whole family was devastated and after that very hard times came for all, specially for my little cousins immediate family; her mom, dad, brother and sister. As I was reading about the types of griefs I realize that my cousin may be going through a combination of both delayed and complicated grief. He never cried and appear very strong but after a month his whole life started to come apart, he refused to go to school, he refused to shower and all he wanted to was sleep and he would also get very mad if anyone mentioned my little cousin, all pictures were taken down due to this. Time passed but he acted the same, two years after my aunt got pregnant and he was very mad and told my aunt, why you want another baby? you want to lose another one? His reaction to me seems like that of someone who has a delayed grief and to who his mom been pregnant flourished all the pain he was feeling. His reason to refuse going to school is because it was when he came back from school that he found out his little sister had passed away and he says that every time he comes home from school it feels like he is reliving the whole situation again. I think for him is a mixture of both types of grief. He is receiving help from various professionals but even after four years he has not be back at school. The good news is that even though at first he was avoiding contact with his little brother, he is now very close to the baby and has a very strong relationship with baby. Coping with his sister's death has been very hard for him, and if we and the fact that he was only 12 and going through adolescence a very crucial time in human development, as I learned throughout the course, it even adds up more complications.
I had to get out of my comfort zone to write this blog but at times it can be very rewarding and self-enriching.
Chapter 12 focuses on death, grief, suicide and the spirituality aspect of death. in the book death is classified in four different types; clinical, brain, biological and social. Grief is a response to the loss of a loved one. Grief is a necessary and natural process that takes place for the well-being of a grieving person in a physical and mental aspect. Various circumstances play a role to how a person may evolve grief , such as religion, culture, self-character, tradition and our support system. Depending on one's culture it may be acceptable the display of sadness by crying loudly while in other cultures it may be seen as wrong. Usually and normally grief takes place accordingly and is of great aid to the griever as it brings relief and acceptance. There are times when the grief is not successful and an unresolved grief comes into perspective. The three major unresolved griefs are delayed grief, distorted grief and complicated grief. Delayed grief is when the grief is put off to a later time. It can come up and be noticeable when a certain event brings to surface the grieving that was ignored previously. A distorted grief is when a person's grief is extreme and the person starts to have similar symptoms as to that of the decease. Another type of grief is complicated grief. Complicated grief is when a person has intense grieving for long periods of time making it impossible to go back to their normal life after the lost.Experts on the topic have come to the conclusion that grief is a healthy aspect during the crisis that is been faced when a loved one is lost. It is said that funerals are in fact of benefit for those surrounding the death of a loved one, research has show that it serves as a therapeutic process.
It was very interesting and self-enriching reading and reflecting on "death" it is a topic I usually avoid at all cost, but i have to say it is good to get out of our comfort zones at times to be able to learn and even analyze and interconnect what we learn to real life situations.
I will like to connect my understandings on this chapter to a situation that has been happening in my family for several years. Four years ago we lost my little cousin at almost 2 years old due to phlegm on her lungs that was not been expelled and as a result her lungs did not function properly. Let me just say that my family is very close including aunts and uncles, the lost of my little cousin was painful for the whole family(my mother's family) . It was the first time we lost a little one as it had always been older people, but my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, my parents and siblings all are alive. As a family we had never lost anyone ( I am referring to my mother's family). The whole family was devastated and after that very hard times came for all, specially for my little cousins immediate family; her mom, dad, brother and sister. As I was reading about the types of griefs I realize that my cousin may be going through a combination of both delayed and complicated grief. He never cried and appear very strong but after a month his whole life started to come apart, he refused to go to school, he refused to shower and all he wanted to was sleep and he would also get very mad if anyone mentioned my little cousin, all pictures were taken down due to this. Time passed but he acted the same, two years after my aunt got pregnant and he was very mad and told my aunt, why you want another baby? you want to lose another one? His reaction to me seems like that of someone who has a delayed grief and to who his mom been pregnant flourished all the pain he was feeling. His reason to refuse going to school is because it was when he came back from school that he found out his little sister had passed away and he says that every time he comes home from school it feels like he is reliving the whole situation again. I think for him is a mixture of both types of grief. He is receiving help from various professionals but even after four years he has not be back at school. The good news is that even though at first he was avoiding contact with his little brother, he is now very close to the baby and has a very strong relationship with baby. Coping with his sister's death has been very hard for him, and if we and the fact that he was only 12 and going through adolescence a very crucial time in human development, as I learned throughout the course, it even adds up more complications.
I had to get out of my comfort zone to write this blog but at times it can be very rewarding and self-enriching.
I think you did an excellent job of summarizing the readings and incorporating your personal experiences. I am very sorry to hear about little cousin and the grief your family experienced. I commend you for sharing your personal life and grief to us. As you said, death is something everyone experiences and I too am scared of death. I think most people do not want to leave their loved ones behind to live life without them. Death is a very touchy subject to most people and I think everyone sharing their experiences and having the courage to talk about it is amazing. It really enhances our learning and I appreciate getting to know some of your personal experiences. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Guadalupe,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your family's loss. Just as you mentioned, death is a sensitive topic. It is difficult to accept even though it is the way of life. Your cousin's reaction is seen commonly. I believe many people experience delayed grief, especially older people. Many times they have set funeral arrangements and prayers, and experience the most suffering during an event that reminds them of the person that passed. Thank you for sharing your stories throughout the course.
Guadalupe great blog,
ReplyDeleteI also do not like talking about death. I'm super sensitive when it comes to discussing it. I'm not so much worried about myself dying but to live in a world without a close family member or even my dogs is unimaginable. what makes me feel better is that my family and I do believe in the afterlife so that is comfort for us. My faith does help me a lot when dealing with death.